A Wednesday list of ten things I want.

This is a list of ten things I want. There is no particular order to the list, and maybe these things won’t make me happier, but maybe they will give me some amusement.

1. I want life to be like a Monty Python sketch, and this one in particular. Why? Because life would be so much more surprising, and after all who doesn’t want to be slapped by a fish, and no one is expecting the Spanish Inquisition.

2. I want a C&H Advantage mat cutter. Why? I was a picture framer for 18 years, and I’ve used many different types of mat cutters, and the best mat cutter I’ve ever used is the C&H Advantage mat cutter.

3. I want a movie adaption of HR Pufnstuf. Why? When I was a kid I knew the people involved in this show were obviously geniuses, and on some kind of really interesting, though mind rotting, mind candy.

4. I want something to hold up my pants other than a belt. Why? Well when I was writing this post Jane asked if I wanted a pair of suspenders, and I said what I wanted was a butt. Like many men in Atlantic Canada I have a skinny butt, and while in my younger days that was a good thing. I find that my middle-aged self is in need of a little extra help in keeping my pants up. Suddenly the image of my much-older self appears with pants hiked up under my arm pits.

5. I want a lifetime supply of Band Aids. Why? Doesn’t matter how many different types of band aids I have, my daughter can never find the right combination of Disney princesses to put on her skinned knees.

6. I want to always have $50 more than I need. Why? Well, think about it: you pay for something and you have $50 left in your pocket. It would be better than being rich!

7. I want more public art. Why? Art makes the world a better place, and it makes people happier.

8. I want to know what I need. Why? Well, though I often think I know what I want, I almost never know what I need. Any trip I take to the grocery is a case in point.

9. I want a beautiful summer day. Why? Because I’m descended from people who came from places like South Uist, and where did they go? Someplace that reminded them of South Uist, but less rocky. Let’s face it: the winter sucks, the spring sucks, and at best we get six nice weeks of weather but only if you patch the weeks together with bits and pieces of decent weather from a grab bag of days spread out between June 25 to October 25.

10. I want to always have a new idea. Why? Because there really is no such thing as a new idea. Chances are if you think you’ve come up with a new idea Picasso or Rauschenberg was there first.